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Sep. 22nd, 2017 12:56 pm
jarrettc: meerkat (Default)
[personal profile] jarrettc
 Social: Only once :( I made plans several other times but they all fell through.

Projects: New Project floating through my mind the past few days, inspired by author Lois McMaster Bujold's[wiki] Betan Earrings[wikia]
  • The core idea is that this extends the basic concept of "ring on fourth finger of left hand indicates one is married" to create a system that accommodates identities outside of monogamous heterosexual marriage.  I figure it can be done with finger rings, as well as earrings or broaches or bracelets.  Any style of jewelry can pretty much work as long as it can accommodate both a side of the body and a direction to read the color code (e.g. top to bottom; hand to elbow)
    •   Left side jewelry would indicate a person's identity which may include one or more of:
      • Religion
      • Gender (feminine; masculine; non-binary and flavors there of)
      • Pronouns (especially important for non-binaries)
      • Romantic interest 
      • Sexual interest (not always the same as romantic interest)
      • Relationship status
      • Genital configuration (if one cares to advertise)
    • I was also thinking that right side jewelry could indicate things that effect a person's social interactions:
      • Likes/dislikes small talk
      • Likes/dislikes physical contact (hugs, greeting by kissing each cheek, etc)
      • Alerts about less common issues that might be misinterpreted:
        • hard-of-hearing/deaf: allow to read your lips
        • verbal tics: don't take curses personally
        • autistic spectrum: no sarcasm please
        • face-blindness: you may be my best friend, but I still don't recognize you by sight
  • For something like this to work, it would need a fairly robust system that:
    • allows hobbyists to be able to make their own items
    • allows room for additional codes for different cultures and new identities
    • allows indicators to be distinctive enough for different styles and materials to still be recognizably identifiable
    • allows people to indicate only the information they wish to publicly express
    • allows a person to change indicators as things change over time (beginning a new relationship, changing pronouns as a gender-fluid person)
  • While this has been in the back of my mind since I read Bujold's books around ten years ago, I have only been working on this here and there for the last few days; it has a long way to go.
psocoptera: ink drawing of celtic knot (Default)
[personal profile] psocoptera
First, the funerals: the Inexplicable Logic of my Life is a contemporary YA by Benjamin Alire Sáenz, the author of Aristotle and Dante Discover the Secrets of the Universe. Three friends and one of their dads compare paths to the dead moms club. Definitely a crying book, I kept being reading this in public places and regretting it. I liked this less than Aristotle&Dante, probably because it's not a romance, and also Sáenz' teen voices worked a little better for me when they were set in the 80s than set now. The texting in this never sounded quite right, in particular. But Sáenz writes some powerful moments, and captures some subtle and complicated feelings. He's at his most interesting to me when he's exploring identity issues like what it means to be born Anglo but adopted and raised by a Mexican-American family, interesting stuff there. The main character chooses something at the end that bothered me, but I can see what Sáenz was getting at and it made sense for the character, just, eegh.

And then, the dinner parties. A Civil Contract (1961 Georgette Heyer Regency novel) and Home Again (2017 Reese Witherspoon film) might seem like an odd pair of works to want to pair up for reviewing, but actually they're perfect, because Civil Contract is a difficult novel because it refuses to give in to the pull of wish fulfillment, while Home Again is an enjoyable movie because it's wish fulfillment all the way down, and they both involve the male romantic lead standing up the female romantic lead for an important dinner party.

Civil Contract's dude hoped to be career military, but dad/untimely death/aristocratic responsibilities, you've heard this before if you read Regencies at all. He's in love with someone, but he's broke, so he has to marry her friend, the daughter of a rich businessman, instead, to save his estate. If Courtney Milan is writing this plot, he would discover that she had some kind of awesome interest or compelling backstory, he would fall in love with her, yay. Heyer, however, doesn't let us have that fantasy - while he does come to *appreciate* his wife's comparative lack of drama, and the comfort that he gets from her catering to him, there's no real indication that he finds her attractive, or is interested in her as a person. (She's been in love with him all along, which is why she's so willing to completely shape her life around his comfort, and do all the emotional labor of managing her feelings without ever bothering him with them.) In theory, I like the idea of a romance novel pairing that focuses more on in-jokes and child raising than bodice-ripping sex, but in practice, it doesn't even really feel like a romance. I am interested in the decentering of *desire* from the narrative, but what I really read romance for is the mutual passionate admiration! That's the stuff! It doesn't feel like a happy ending to me if she's in limerence with him and he's not with her. (There is a long and excellent discussion thread here with, among others, Courtney Milan herself basically making this argument.)

Home Again, in contrast, delivers passionate admiration in spades. Our 40-year-old recently-separated mom heroine has *three* nice young men fall for her; she's only ever romantic with one, but she gets to bask in attention (and emotional and household labor!) from all three of them. It's not just a fantasy of still being desirable, although that's obviously part of it, it's a fantasy of getting to enjoy the excitement and fun of a new romance even after already having had one good marriage. (Although her ex as we see him onscreen is awful, I think we're supposed to have the impression that it was a good relationship for a long time, until it wasn't anymore.) She eventually decides that the life-stage gap between her and her young man is too big for a relationship, but they all three will still be around as part of a found family with her and her kids and her mom, yay - she may have given up the sex, but she gets to keep the admiration.

Oh, and the dinner parties? I had curiously opposite reactions to them. In Home Again, the missed dinner party is the precipitating event for the end of the relationship - it's supposed to be their first "real date" beyond their fling at her house, he's going to meet her friends, but he stands her up rather than risk offending the guy he's hoping will help them get their movie made. She decides that this means their priorities are just too different, but I found myself more sympathetic to the dude than she was - the movie pushes how these guys are these aspiring filmmakers who Really Believe In Films, and he's young and new to navigating Hollywood, and believes this is an important chance. And unfortunately it falls into her ex's pattern of blowing her off for flimsy work reasons, so it makes sense that *she's* just like "I'm not doing this again", but it didn't make *me* think they wouldn't work. Civil Contract dude on the other hand has promised to be home for his sister's engagement party but instead borrows a ton of money to gamble wildly on a military outcome so that he can have money of "his own" instead of his wife's money - it turns out he's right but, ugh, he takes this enormous risk for no real important benefit, I lost so much sympathy for the character and of course his wife is just like "that's all right honey you know best, nice work honey". It's the climax of the book and I guess the idea is that now that he doesn't "owe" her he's more able to realize that he's fond of her and doesn't resent her for having had to marry her. In a way, these stories end the same - with a friendship rather than a romance - but what a difference, coming to it from opposite directions.

(no subject)

Sep. 16th, 2017 04:28 pm
42itous: (Default)
[personal profile] 42itous
a butterfly seen head-on on a flower
"If I turn sideways, you can't see me."
kaberett: a patch of sunlight on the carpet, shaped like a slightly wonky heart (light hearted)
[personal profile] kaberett
you might also like Heartstopper, an LGBT comic about a British grammar school, which I have just inhaled this evening after one of you all reblogged it on the tumbls xx

(comment I left on the Patreon: 3-2 came across my dash earlier this evening, I have just read EVERYTHING (with laughing-out-loud and misting-up and making-my-partner-read-bits), thank you *so much* for this. -- I am 27, I was in Year 9 when Section 28 was repealed, I was the only out queer in my secondary school of 1000+ students, and I recognise these crushes SO HARD. Thank you so, so much for making this be a thing in the world, and I am really looking forward to reading more. <3)

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Sep. 10th, 2017 09:34 pm

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