jedusor: (beware the groove)
I just did a major rewrite of my LJ interests after mostly ignoring them for about six years. I don't know if anyone who isn't me will care, but I'm intrigued by the differences between the words and phrases I chose to represent myself as a teenager and those I've chosen recently.

Interests I had when I was fifteen that I no longer have: amélie, apocalypses, apples to apples, bisexuality, boondock saints, boston, boy meets boy, bullwhips, california, captain jack sparrow, chervil, chuck palahniuk, concerts, cookie liberation, dance dance revolution, discworld, donnie darko, drabbles, dyed hair, erotica, fanfic, french, friends, good omens, grammar, hiptops, hot boys, hot girls, icons, intelligence, life, livejournal, postsecret, questionable content, rain, randomness, ravenclaw, rocky horror picture show, savage love, sleep, slytherin, south park, vampires, word puzzles, wordplay

Interests I have now that I did not have when I was fifteen: 400 babies, at swim two boys, decision science, attention economics, aus as thought experiments, barenaked ladies, being a superbowl hero, being named potato, braaains, coin-operated boys, competence, decision science, elegance in boardgame design, fandom, form-fitting trench coats, functional magnetic resonance imaging, geekery, grant morrison, high-quality satire, interpersonal social dynamics, japanese logic puzzles, jonah lehrer, jonathan coulton, judgment, judgment of judgment, kink, lalochezia, mahjong, making people laugh, malcolm gladwell, metacognition, minimalist fiction, motor proteins, mystery hunt, neuroscience, nociception, normalizing homosexuality, oxytocin, phenomena, phineas gage, physiological algorithms, plain strong black tea, preference, research, science, seattle, self-awareness, self-perception theory, service industry blogs, somatosensation, suit jackets over t-shirts, super-hyphen, tfuckingmesis, the fundamental attribution error, the game, the marshmallow test, the milgram experiment, the oh-shit circuit, the subjunctive mood, thinking, transformative creation, verbing

Interests I've had since I was fifteen: bad judgment, ben folds, body piercings, books, chocolate, cooking, dan savage, douglas adams, fight club (the book), go, harry potter, hikaru no go, homeschooling, honesty, juggling, learning, motorcycles, national puzzlers' league, nine inch nails, photoshop, purple, puzzles, reading, rps, slash, snakes, socks, reading, tattoos, terry pratchett, the administration, they might be giants, traffic hell, veganism, writing
jedusor: (white collar kiss)
I was talking to my boss yesterday about how my friends tend to be older than me. I've always known this was a trend, but I didn't really realize until I was explaining it to her how particularly true it is right now. I still have a few friends my own age who live elsewhere, but not here. I have two Seattle-area friends who are 26 and two who are 29, and all the rest I can think of are in their 30s or older.

I made a graph a few years ago of the ages of my LJ friendslist and hypothesized that the age I would get along with best was around 30, but that social circumstances had led to my befriending the upper end of my own cohort and the lower end of my mom's. I'm not sure if that's entirely true, but current evidence certainly supports the part about me liking people in their 30s. I think that's how old most of my puzzle, yuppie-nerd, and poly-kink friends are, which is most of my friends. This might be why I didn't make many close friends in college--I had a lot of acquaintances, but the only person from Clark I connected with and felt comfortable around (and the only person I've really stayed in touch with since graduation) is Gerry, who's in his 40s. People my age tend to bewilder me. They're always texting right there in front of me while we're hanging out, and they never say what they mean, and there's so much drama. I realize that's a generalization--as I said, I do have friends my age elsewhere--but that was pretty much what college felt like for me socially.

There's also this distressing pattern wherein I have a friend who I believe to be close to me, and who behaves like we're close, and then out of the blue completely cuts me off and refuses to respond to my attempts to contact them. This has happened four times now with people who were important to me. I realize that the common denominator there is me, and believe me when I say I have spent a lot of time trying to figure out what I did and how to prevent it happening again, or at least predict when it's going to happen (and if you have any theories, by all means lay them on me). But they've also all been around college age. Four is not a sufficient sample size to draw conclusions, but it's enough to make me pretty much okay with not seeking out younger friends right now.

Even if my older friends do always tease me for being a baby. It's a cross I must bear.
jedusor: (Default)
No, really. Every dish we own is clean and put away. Every piece of clothing and linen in the house is washed and either folded, being worn, or on a neatly made bed. The posters I've been meaning to put up are up, all the books are on bookshelves, the sound system is moved to a more logical place than it was, the bathroom and kitchen are scrubbed and sparkling, the floors are swept and vacuumed, my awesome new purple tablecloth is on the table, the fridge is cleared of everything gross, the trash is taken out, there is nothing on the coffee table, and the foldout bed is ready for Kit to inhabit it on Tuesday. And we made an actual cooked dinner with sides and everything. Today, domesticity is my bitch.

Organ Trail

Feb. 3rd, 2011 02:16 am
jedusor: (badass geek)
I've played Oregon Trail a total of one time, when I was maybe eight. I died because I refused to shoot any animals, and never touched the game again. Until just now, when I discovered Organ Trail, a fully playable zombie apocalypse version of the game. While I still wouldn't want to play a game that simulated hunting animals, I'm totally fine with squelching zombies, so I gave it a shot.

I spent a somewhat embarrassing amount of time playing, and I realized: this game is just like life. The inexorable plodding of time, balancing priorities, dwindling supplies, random surprise benefactions and equally random surprise emergencies, panic as a resource that was just fine a second ago is now completely gone, reluctant acceptance of unfair deals (that other survivor wants HOW many bullets for one muffler?)... it's a perfect little microcosm of adulthood, minus all the awesome.

Everyone else played this game endlessly during childhood and then had this revelation in the other direction, didn't they?
jedusor: (i have a cat)
The best part about being an adult: Walking around that chair would take, like, two steps more than just jumping over the edge of the couch. Oh, hey, I can do that! Wahoo!

The worst part about being an adult: Eep, that thump was pretty loud. It's past midnight, isn't it? I hope I didn't wake up Miranda. Ow, fuck, my leg.
jedusor: (flavr)
For as long as I can remember, I've had it in my head that I dislike cereal, except occasionally granola. I just ate a bowl of Cheerios, and realized that I like cereal just fine. The reason that I originally decided I didn't was that when I was little, I always read during meals, and usually got immersed in the book and thus ate slowly; when you do this with cereal, it gets soggy and gross. Now that I actually eat food reasonably quickly, there's no reason to avoid cereal.

Growing up and noticing this sort of thing is weird.


Dec. 31st, 2008 12:21 pm
jedusor: (riverdancing)
w00t #1: Terry Pratchett got knighted!

w00t #2: I think I just got through to the three-year-old staying here (the child of the people who own the house my mom and stepdad are living in) about the fact that having children is not a requirement for being an adult. Her six-year-old sister explained adoption as an option for people who don't want kids; I chose to leave birth control and abortion out of the discussion.

w00t #3: Nom nom homemade salt-and-pepper bagels nom.

w00t #4: I get to see my Sarah today! Squee!
jedusor: (ventromedial prefrontal cortex)
I think one of the most important realizations that push the transition from adolescence to adulthood is that failing to express affection for the people you care about does not make you cool.

It's not universal, obviously, because people are different (some have the opposite problem of expressing affection indiscriminately and thus making people who don't know them well uncomfortable), but that aloof demeanor is definitely one of the things I see most in teenagers, and in people who aren't teenagers anymore but haven't gotten their shit together enough to grow up.
jedusor: (don't dream it)
I just picked up my mail, and it consisted of a bank statement, a check, a medical bill (more than $200, ouch), and a letter about a loan. This is the kind of stuff people warned me about when I was a kid and said I wanted to grow up. Bills and taxes and responsibility are no fun, they said. Well, y'know what? It's totally worth it. So far, the positives of adulthood far outweigh the negatives.

I've been dwelling on a flaw of mine, and then realized that several of the people I admire most share that flaw. So I feel a little better about that. Mom always says you become who you admire, and that's really true, I suppose. That was the basis for the essay that got me in here, actually.

I seem to have made a good impression on the dean of students and the head of the psychology department. Someone said on Facebook that it's because I actually care about what I'm learning. I know it's beneficial to me to stand out in that regard, but I wish I didn't; I wish more people cared.

I miss Ava.
jedusor: (sad turtle)
I just woke up from a nightmare that I'd submitted my health insurance waiver to Clark too late and had to pay an unnecessary $2,000 for my first year.

Jeez. What happened to giants and flying and stuff?


jedusor: (Default)

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