If on her is better than three hers, how can three hers be better than one it?

drkdragon5000: o.o I just saw the Avril Lavigne video twice in a row. *twitch*
coria uruloki: *wince* WHY?
drkdragon5000: I was going throught the channels and decided to leave it on VH1 in hopes of good music, and it seemed fine at first, then Avril came on. When it was over... it came on again.
coria uruloki: A RIP IN THE SPACE/TIME CONTINUUM!
drkdragon5000: Oh God, Avril forever.......
drkdragon5000: GAH!
coria uruloki: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOooooooooooooooooooooooooo....................
drkdragon5000: Oh good. It's something else.
drkdragon5000: It's not better, but it's not her.
coria uruloki: maybe not better than ONE her, but if it HAD been her, it would've been THREE hers, so is it better then three hers or only better than one her? because if it's better than one her but not better than three hers, than it's better than any hers at that point in the sequence.
coria uruloki: do you understand that?
drkdragon5000: ...Not really.
coria uruloki: ...me either.
drkdragon5000: Okay.
drkdragon5000: I think it's better than one her, making it better than all of her.
coria uruloki: but you said it WASN'T better than one her
coria uruloki: "not better, but it's not her"
drkdragon5000: Well, okay. I guess it was better than her.
coria uruloki: one her?
drkdragon5000: Yeah.
coria uruloki: but they say that more is better, meaning that it could possibly be better then one her and not as good as three hers.
drkdragon5000: But one her is the same as three hers, one three hers is worse than the one her, as the one her is only one. So therefore if the one her is the same as three hers, they can be better than one her, also being better than three hers.
drkdragon5000: I confused myself.
coria uruloki: i think what you were trying to say was
coria uruloki: "avril's gone, thank god"
drkdragon5000: YES!!

I've said it before and I'll say it again: I LOVE MY FRIENDS!!!

To Eyeroll or Not to Eyeroll? The Saga of the Raccoon

Okay, with a title like that, you just had to read on, right? *grin*

Okay, the story began like this. adinls and I were discussing how we wanted to die.
( Not boring by any means, but not crucial to the story. )

adinls: *falls asleep on julia*
coria uruloki: *takes you onto my lap and snuggles*
adinls: *smiles in sleep*
coria uruloki: *eyes the llama peering in my window* nice try, buster. not till i'm 97.
adinls: *says, what now? in sleep to llama*
coria uruloki: *llama rolls eyes and disappears*
coria uruloki: *even though llamas can't roll their eyes*
coria uruloki: *begins to puzzle over unllamaish behavior*
coria uruloki: *concludes that llama is in fact a raccoon in disguise*
adinls: *snores*
coria uruloki: *goes back to sleep*
coria uruloki: wait
coria uruloki: can raccoons roll their eyes?

And so the question was proposed. Can raccoons roll their eyes? Google had nothing to say on the matter. Neither did Ask Jeeves. I then posed the question to everyone on my buddy list, and headed over to fandom chat and got a few opinions from there. Here's what everyone had to say:

adinls: probably

drkdragon5000: I think they can. Not that one has ever rolled it's eyes at me...

absinthefire: they can scare the living shit out of my brother and make him run like a girl.

johnjohnyanksfan: I'm sure they can roll their eyes, I just dont think they do roll their eyes. like the occasion never comes up for them to go "Moooom"

daelphnin: i don't think ANY animal rolls its eyes unless it's scared shitless

raingeckogoddess: im sure they can, but i can't imagine why they would

hommiefuzzball: yes, they can. the very act of blinking, closing the eyes, means they roll them back into their head.

elvea87: whyfore?
coria uruloki: i need to know if the llama that's rolling its eyes at my friend is in fact a raccoon in disguise.
elvea87: LOL but WHERE the hell is a llama?
coria uruloki: there isn't actually a llama
coria uruloki: it's a potential llama that COULD be rolling its eyes at my friend
elvea87: a potential llama?
coria uruloki: hey, look at it this way- i spiced up your evening a bit, right?
elvea87: ...or something

domstiff: i dunno if they can roll their eyes. but they can sscrew in a tree and keep me awake all nigth with the screaming

And there you have it. Can raccoons roll their eyes? The general consensus is yes. The truth? I still don't know. I will, however, find out. Eventually.