Please don't take this the wrong way, but I feel like you've fundamentally misconstrued my take on this subject from the very beginning. I have never once disagreed with you about this.
You don't need to prove to me that sexism is a problem in STEM. I work in physics and math, and I can see it all around me every day. I've see it overtly all over the internet, and subtly in person. I try hard to be conscious of my own behavior, to do my part to improve the situation. As bad as they are now, I can tell that things are better than they used to be, and I'm optimistic that the trend will continue. However, your walking in spelling this all out to me like I don't know about it is not terribly constructive, and frankly sounds sexist in a whole different way. I wanted to believe that you gave me the benefit of the doubt, but I really don't appreciate being made into a public straw man like this.
On point, I believe you that Spencer didn't make much eye contact with you. Maybe it's because he didn't think you'd be interested in what he had to say, because you're a girl. Or, maybe it's because Spencer was trying to be conscious of sexism and not stare at you. Maybe it's because he's a 19 year old boy who gets nervous from female eye contact. Maybe you has a distracting little sprig of parsley on your upper lip. Many of those reasons are technically sexist, but can you see why bringing it up might sound like crying wolf? You're right that I felt a bit fed up with you at that point, though maybe not exactly for the reasons you thought.
Like many people, I deal with frustration with humor. Like much humor, it doesn't transcribe too well. For the record, I had heard the hall door close, so I knew he wasn't in earshot when I called out. It was humor at your expense, so I apologize if you didn't find it funny. We used to understand each other better than that. You did somehow manage to take offense when I told you that you hadn't made enough of your Thai peanut sauce, so I guess I should have known better. (If you still don't get that one, saying that you want more of something is high praise where I come from.)
In defense of my character, several of the lab sections I have taught were mostly women, some of whom have made it a point to tell me how much they appreciated me compared to other teachers. The only hiring decision I've ever made was voting for a woman, our new professor in Physics Education, Dr. Kustusch. The teachers who turned me onto math, astronomy, and physics were Ms. McHale, Ms. Sparks, and Ms. Williams respectively. Half the physics faculty at DePaul are women, despite the field being like 90% male-dominated. My own sister graduated with a bachelor’s degree before she turned twenty. Most of my personal role models are these women, and I emphatically do not believe that gender has any influence whatsoever on innate ability.
However, like I said, I have seen plenty enough sexism around me, including against those very same role models I admire. I don’t like it, and I’m fighting the good fight in the only way that I can, by being a STEM major who isn't sexist.
If you have any faults, Julia, it’s that you’re far too eager to tell others what you think is wrong with them. Despite the irony, that’s something I’ve wanted to say to you for a long time, and I have a strong suspicion that that’s why you’ve got so many burned bridges littering your past. I suppose that could be considered a good trait in a psychologist; maybe now you can take a look in the mirror and think about why there’s such a bad gender disparity in your own field.
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timeasmymeasure
no subject
Date: 2014-05-10 09:36 pm (UTC)You don't need to prove to me that sexism is a problem in STEM. I work in physics and math, and I can see it all around me every day. I've see it overtly all over the internet, and subtly in person. I try hard to be conscious of my own behavior, to do my part to improve the situation. As bad as they are now, I can tell that things are better than they used to be, and I'm optimistic that the trend will continue. However, your walking in spelling this all out to me like I don't know about it is not terribly constructive, and frankly sounds sexist in a whole different way. I wanted to believe that you gave me the benefit of the doubt, but I really don't appreciate being made into a public straw man like this.
On point, I believe you that Spencer didn't make much eye contact with you. Maybe it's because he didn't think you'd be interested in what he had to say, because you're a girl. Or, maybe it's because Spencer was trying to be conscious of sexism and not stare at you. Maybe it's because he's a 19 year old boy who gets nervous from female eye contact. Maybe you has a distracting little sprig of parsley on your upper lip. Many of those reasons are technically sexist, but can you see why bringing it up might sound like crying wolf? You're right that I felt a bit fed up with you at that point, though maybe not exactly for the reasons you thought.
Like many people, I deal with frustration with humor. Like much humor, it doesn't transcribe too well. For the record, I had heard the hall door close, so I knew he wasn't in earshot when I called out. It was humor at your expense, so I apologize if you didn't find it funny. We used to understand each other better than that. You did somehow manage to take offense when I told you that you hadn't made enough of your Thai peanut sauce, so I guess I should have known better. (If you still don't get that one, saying that you want more of something is high praise where I come from.)
In defense of my character, several of the lab sections I have taught were mostly women, some of whom have made it a point to tell me how much they appreciated me compared to other teachers. The only hiring decision I've ever made was voting for a woman, our new professor in Physics Education, Dr. Kustusch. The teachers who turned me onto math, astronomy, and physics were Ms. McHale, Ms. Sparks, and Ms. Williams respectively. Half the physics faculty at DePaul are women, despite the field being like 90% male-dominated. My own sister graduated with a bachelor’s degree before she turned twenty. Most of my personal role models are these women, and I emphatically do not believe that gender has any influence whatsoever on innate ability.
However, like I said, I have seen plenty enough sexism around me, including against those very same role models I admire. I don’t like it, and I’m fighting the good fight in the only way that I can, by being a STEM major who isn't sexist.
If you have any faults, Julia, it’s that you’re far too eager to tell others what you think is wrong with them. Despite the irony, that’s something I’ve wanted to say to you for a long time, and I have a strong suspicion that that’s why you’ve got so many burned bridges littering your past. I suppose that could be considered a good trait in a psychologist; maybe now you can take a look in the mirror and think about why there’s such a bad gender disparity in your own field.