Garlic press reviews

[jedusor]

Excerpts from Amazon reviews for various garlic presses:

(from a review titled "My Special, Steely Friend") "I'm afraid I've developed an unhealthy relationship with this garlic press."

"This thing is built like a tank."

"I showed my fiancee how it works and she seems to be impressed."

"As others have reported here, the handle retains water that can drip out into your guacamole or other favorite dish. Alternatively, in your frustration, you can administer a thorough shaking to get the water out. Unfortunately that propels water drops all over your kitchen which can be a source of further aggravation. All-in-all, probably better to look elsewhere for your next garlic press -- unless you're into drama."

"As an added bonus, you could probably blackjack and knockout an intruder while holding this thing."

"I've retired my old garlic press to lesser, cruder duties."

Review title: "Anthony Bordain Be Damned"

"Since I bought this garlic press, I have been using more garlic than needed."

"This press is so awesome, sometimes I just press garlic for fun."

"Crushes garlic? No, it obliterates garlic."

"This smashes garlic like I WISH the Cleveland Browns could smash the Steelers. *sigh*"

Comments

[42itous.livejournal.com]

*giggle*

Speaking of guacamole, you know Fresh Guacamole, right? http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dNJdJIwCF_Y
But it doesn't have garlic in it! Hmm, maybe they couldn't think of any props that would work well for garlic... I can't, off the top of my head. ::shrug::

[jedusor.livejournal.com]

I have seen it, yeah, and the lack of garlic bugged me at the time. You can't have guacamole without garlic!

[metaphortunate.livejournal.com]

I feel like "My Special, Steely Friend" should be a review for an entirely different kind of product.

...actually, that works for "I showed my fiancee how it works and she seems to be impressed" and a number of the other reviews...

[jedusor.livejournal.com]

I've never heard of a guacamole kink, but I knew someone who once tried masturbating with wasabi. (She does not recommend it.)

[rubrick.livejournal.com]

If I didn't know how both honest and unabashed you are, I'd assume this had to be a "So, I have this friend, see..." account.

[jedusor.livejournal.com]

Heh. Nope, I definitely would have if someone had dared me when I was 14, but this particular mishap really was a friend.