So, I'm in CA.
Feb. 4th, 2005 12:47 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
jedusorDrabble by ![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
furiosity: Why
do wizards celebrate Christmas? Warning: possibly offensive
to Christians.
I woke up seven minutes before my alarm went off and finished getting ready for my trip.
A few minutes before we left:
Mom: Sorry about the diapers, hon. You won't have to deal with them for the whole weekend.
Bill: I don't mind the diapers at all.
Me: You minded cleaning up Anya's pee.
This was meant to be lighthearted, as in a joke, but Bill started screaming about how I'm always harping on that dog and he should have gotten rid of her after three weeks, etc. etc. etc. I've mentioned her maybe five times since she went to the shelter, and told him so, to which he replied that it had been three days since I last mentioned her (a number he COMPLETELY pulled out of his ass- it's been weeks, possibly months). Then I got a headache that didn't go away for the entire day. So I was in a bad mood when I got to school.
History was just presentations. We don't have to present ours until Tuesday, so I spent an hour and fifteen minutes halfheartedly taking notes.
Bible As Lit was more interesting. She covered an entire book for the first time, and she's really good at clearing up the confusing parts and summarizing chapters so we don't have to go over every word. I wrote a simplifed version of the Book of Job, complete with footnotes (not for the class, just for the helluvit) and included it in this
entry.
Bio was Bio. I had to skip lab to get to the airport on time. The flight was fairly uneventful- I spent most of it drinking cranberry juice and water and trying to keep my mind off my headache. Reading made it worse, so I didn't get any of that done. I did a lot of thinking and a little writing.
When we got to CA, we found Jeffrey waiting at the gate. Apparently no one had told him Bill was coming. (Note: walking between your father and stepfather while the latter mentions that he's going to be staying with a woman who isn't your mom, with no perceptible tension between them, is a rather unique experience.) Jeffrey gave Bill a lift to the rental car place, and we went to Ding How. Man, I love that place. Definitely no leftovers. I slept on the top bunk of the boys' bed, normally occupied by Clayton.
This morning I got up before nine (eleven KC time), took a shower, and had breakfast (scrambled tofu with ketchup- trust me when I say it's good). The fest starts at four, butcfb4629 just told me that the Mountain View gang isn't going to be there until tomorrow. *cries* Maaaaan...
The Book of Job, simplified version:
Chapter One
Okay, so there's this really rich and God-fearing dude called Job (pronounced Jobe). He has ten kids, a ton of slaves, a wife, and lots of sheep, camels, oxen, and she-asses (I guess the guys don't count where asses are concerned). He helps out people who don't have it as good as he does, he cleanses his kids every morning jut in case they've sinned the night before, and everybody loves him.
Now the trouble starts. All the angels are standing before God, and Satan's there too. God sees him and says, "Oy,* where'd you come from?" Satan answers, "Dude, I've been all over the place."
"Yeah? Did you see that Job guy? Upstanding citizen, huh?"
Satan, being the cunning troublemaker he is, says, "Anyone would worship you after you gave them all that crap. Take away his stuff and he won't be so damn righteous."
"Riiiight. Go ahead, take it all away, you'll see. Just don't hurt him."
So, one day Job's kids are all partying at their oldest brother's house, and Job's all set for a nice quiet afternoon, when...
Messenger 1: "These Sabean dudes just killed all your oxen and asses. I was the only one who esc-"
Messenger 2: "Erm, we've got some divine fire over in field two. Your sheep are all dead, and I'm the only surviv-"
Messenger 3: "Three troops of Chaldeans just pinched all your camels. I'm lucky I managed to get aw-"
Messenger 4: "Wind just knocked over the house your kids were in. They're all dead."
Baboom. Baboom. Baboom. Baboom. Just like that, Job is destitute, his family's dead (except for his wife), and he's got not one but two foreign armies trashing his land. At this point, according to Satan's plan, he'll blaspheme God. Does he do that? Nope, because we're still in the first chapter out of forty-two.** He rips his clothes, shaves his head and worships God, saying that if God wants him to be poor, he'll be poor and grateful for it too. No blasphemy.
Chapter Two
Back to Heaven. Same scenario, all the angels and Satan are standing before God, God asks Satan where he came from this time, Satan says he's been all over the place again, God asks if he's seen Job. Satan hems and haws and says, "Y'know, he'd blaspheme if you let me hurt him. Mortals don't care about their possessions as much as their bodies." So God says, "Okey-dokey, just don't kill him."
So Satan goes forth and strikes Job with a grievous ulcer- read: an open, oozing sore all over his entire body. Yeah. Pleasant. But good old Job just grabs a piece of pottery and sits on a dungheap, scraping the pus off his body. His wife says, "Hey Job, are you some kind of moron? Blaspheme*** and die already." To which Job says, "Who's the moron, lady? We got a bunch of good stuff from God, why shouldn't we get bad stuff too?" Still no blasphemy.
News of Job's plight reaches his three friends, Eliphaz, Baldad and Sophar. They decide to come and comfort the poor guy. When they reach him, they don't even recognize him at first. Then they sit on the dungheap with him for a whole week without saying anything. Really, what can you say to someone in that position?
Chapter Three
Job curses the day he was born. A lot.
Chapter Four
Eliphaz opens his fat mouth and says, "Um, Job, I probably shouldn't say this, but y'know, God doesn't do stuff like this to innocent people."
Chapters Five Through Thirty-One
Eliphaz: Own up, Job, what'd you do?
Job: Nothing! Shit happens!
Baldad: God doesn't do stuff like this to innocent people.
Job: Yeah, Eliphaz said that already, and it's not true. God, can I die now?
Sophar: God doesn't do stuff like this to innocent people.
Job: I heard you guys the first time. You're not God, how do you know what God does? I didn't do anything, okay? By the way, you'd look smarter if you shut up.****
Eliphaz: Bad stuff happens to people who don't own up to their crimes.
Job: Don't you guys ever stop talking? I didn't DO anything! God, can I please die?
Baldad: Bad stuff happens to people who don't own up to their crimes.
Job: Aren't you guys supposed to be comforting me?
Sophar: Bad stuff happens to people who don't own up to their crimes.
Job: ...God? Pretty please with cherries on top?
Eliphaz: God doesn't do stuff like this to innocent people.
Job: WILL YOU QUIT POKING AT ME????
Eliphaz, Baldad and Sophar: Tee hee. Poke. Poke. Poke.
Job: I know God is powerful, I didn't do anything, and you guys are hypocrites. Bad stuff is gonna happen to you. I used to be rich and powerful and everybody loved me, and now I'm sitting on a dungheap covered in pus. You think the same thing can't happen to you? I'm a good guy, and you're not. Now shut up already, you overblown windbags.
Chapter Thirty-two Through Thirty-Seven
Okay, so Job is sitting on a dungheap in the ruins of his estate. His family's dead, except for his wife who thinks he's an idiot and has presumably left town (it doesn't say). His "friends" are accusing him of being a wicked person, and his body is one huge open sore. Can it get any worse? Hell yeah. Now he gets it from the peanut gallery. Eliu, a kid from the entourage of people Job's friends brought with them, pipes up.
Eliu: I've been quiet until now, but listening to you old farts has showed me that just because someone is old doesn't mean they're wise.***** You three are right, but you're not arguing your point the right way. Job, it's your own fault you're like this. You blasphemed, by putting words into God's mouth. That's not cool, dude. You can't possibly judge for God. God is all-powerful, God is amazing, God is-
Chapters Thirty-Eight Through Forty-One
God: Hey, kid. Shut up, and don't wet your pants.*****
Eliu: *shuts up*
God: Who do you mortals think you are, telling each other what I'm going to do to you? I'm God, you're not, deal with it. Jeez.
Chapter Forty-two
Job: Sorry, God! I suck! I'll make up for it!
God: Job just acknowledged that he's not fit to lick my shoes, and you guys didn't. Therefore, Job gets all his crap back, and you guys get to be Job's slaves.******* Here, Job, you get ten more kids and double your livestock.
Job: Yey!
And Job lived a really long, happy life, and his daughters inherited land as well as the sons (which was really unusual back then), and he died happy at age 140.
*At this point, Jesus hadn't done his thing yet, so it's okay to assume God was Jewish.
**Hey, maybe Job is the meaning of life. *ponders*
***In the book, this actually says "bless," not "blaspheme." This is because the original Hebrew word, when translated, was a swear word, and you can't have swear words in the Bible. That's what translating through three languages does to a book, I suppose.
****Job 13:5- And I wish that you would hold your peace, that you might be thought to be wise men.
*****Job 32: 9- They that are aged are not the wise men: neither do the ancients understand judgement.
******He really says that, I shit you not. Job 38:3- Gird up thy loins like a man.
*******It actually says "servant," but in the Bible that means slave. When they're talking about paid help, they say "hireling."
EDIT: ...if anyone can tell me why this entry appears to have no paragraphs, could they kindly share that information? *scratches head*
furiosity: Whydo wizards celebrate Christmas? Warning: possibly offensive
to Christians.
I woke up seven minutes before my alarm went off and finished getting ready for my trip.
A few minutes before we left:
Mom: Sorry about the diapers, hon. You won't have to deal with them for the whole weekend.
Bill: I don't mind the diapers at all.
Me: You minded cleaning up Anya's pee.
This was meant to be lighthearted, as in a joke, but Bill started screaming about how I'm always harping on that dog and he should have gotten rid of her after three weeks, etc. etc. etc. I've mentioned her maybe five times since she went to the shelter, and told him so, to which he replied that it had been three days since I last mentioned her (a number he COMPLETELY pulled out of his ass- it's been weeks, possibly months). Then I got a headache that didn't go away for the entire day. So I was in a bad mood when I got to school.
History was just presentations. We don't have to present ours until Tuesday, so I spent an hour and fifteen minutes halfheartedly taking notes.
Bible As Lit was more interesting. She covered an entire book for the first time, and she's really good at clearing up the confusing parts and summarizing chapters so we don't have to go over every word. I wrote a simplifed version of the Book of Job, complete with footnotes (not for the class, just for the helluvit) and included it in this
entry.
Bio was Bio. I had to skip lab to get to the airport on time. The flight was fairly uneventful- I spent most of it drinking cranberry juice and water and trying to keep my mind off my headache. Reading made it worse, so I didn't get any of that done. I did a lot of thinking and a little writing.
When we got to CA, we found Jeffrey waiting at the gate. Apparently no one had told him Bill was coming. (Note: walking between your father and stepfather while the latter mentions that he's going to be staying with a woman who isn't your mom, with no perceptible tension between them, is a rather unique experience.) Jeffrey gave Bill a lift to the rental car place, and we went to Ding How. Man, I love that place. Definitely no leftovers. I slept on the top bunk of the boys' bed, normally occupied by Clayton.
This morning I got up before nine (eleven KC time), took a shower, and had breakfast (scrambled tofu with ketchup- trust me when I say it's good). The fest starts at four, but
cfb4629 just told me that the Mountain View gang isn't going to be there until tomorrow. *cries* Maaaaan...The Book of Job, simplified version:
Chapter One
Okay, so there's this really rich and God-fearing dude called Job (pronounced Jobe). He has ten kids, a ton of slaves, a wife, and lots of sheep, camels, oxen, and she-asses (I guess the guys don't count where asses are concerned). He helps out people who don't have it as good as he does, he cleanses his kids every morning jut in case they've sinned the night before, and everybody loves him.
Now the trouble starts. All the angels are standing before God, and Satan's there too. God sees him and says, "Oy,* where'd you come from?" Satan answers, "Dude, I've been all over the place."
"Yeah? Did you see that Job guy? Upstanding citizen, huh?"
Satan, being the cunning troublemaker he is, says, "Anyone would worship you after you gave them all that crap. Take away his stuff and he won't be so damn righteous."
"Riiiight. Go ahead, take it all away, you'll see. Just don't hurt him."
So, one day Job's kids are all partying at their oldest brother's house, and Job's all set for a nice quiet afternoon, when...
Messenger 1: "These Sabean dudes just killed all your oxen and asses. I was the only one who esc-"
Messenger 2: "Erm, we've got some divine fire over in field two. Your sheep are all dead, and I'm the only surviv-"
Messenger 3: "Three troops of Chaldeans just pinched all your camels. I'm lucky I managed to get aw-"
Messenger 4: "Wind just knocked over the house your kids were in. They're all dead."
Baboom. Baboom. Baboom. Baboom. Just like that, Job is destitute, his family's dead (except for his wife), and he's got not one but two foreign armies trashing his land. At this point, according to Satan's plan, he'll blaspheme God. Does he do that? Nope, because we're still in the first chapter out of forty-two.** He rips his clothes, shaves his head and worships God, saying that if God wants him to be poor, he'll be poor and grateful for it too. No blasphemy.
Chapter Two
Back to Heaven. Same scenario, all the angels and Satan are standing before God, God asks Satan where he came from this time, Satan says he's been all over the place again, God asks if he's seen Job. Satan hems and haws and says, "Y'know, he'd blaspheme if you let me hurt him. Mortals don't care about their possessions as much as their bodies." So God says, "Okey-dokey, just don't kill him."
So Satan goes forth and strikes Job with a grievous ulcer- read: an open, oozing sore all over his entire body. Yeah. Pleasant. But good old Job just grabs a piece of pottery and sits on a dungheap, scraping the pus off his body. His wife says, "Hey Job, are you some kind of moron? Blaspheme*** and die already." To which Job says, "Who's the moron, lady? We got a bunch of good stuff from God, why shouldn't we get bad stuff too?" Still no blasphemy.
News of Job's plight reaches his three friends, Eliphaz, Baldad and Sophar. They decide to come and comfort the poor guy. When they reach him, they don't even recognize him at first. Then they sit on the dungheap with him for a whole week without saying anything. Really, what can you say to someone in that position?
Chapter Three
Job curses the day he was born. A lot.
Chapter Four
Eliphaz opens his fat mouth and says, "Um, Job, I probably shouldn't say this, but y'know, God doesn't do stuff like this to innocent people."
Chapters Five Through Thirty-One
Eliphaz: Own up, Job, what'd you do?
Job: Nothing! Shit happens!
Baldad: God doesn't do stuff like this to innocent people.
Job: Yeah, Eliphaz said that already, and it's not true. God, can I die now?
Sophar: God doesn't do stuff like this to innocent people.
Job: I heard you guys the first time. You're not God, how do you know what God does? I didn't do anything, okay? By the way, you'd look smarter if you shut up.****
Eliphaz: Bad stuff happens to people who don't own up to their crimes.
Job: Don't you guys ever stop talking? I didn't DO anything! God, can I please die?
Baldad: Bad stuff happens to people who don't own up to their crimes.
Job: Aren't you guys supposed to be comforting me?
Sophar: Bad stuff happens to people who don't own up to their crimes.
Job: ...God? Pretty please with cherries on top?
Eliphaz: God doesn't do stuff like this to innocent people.
Job: WILL YOU QUIT POKING AT ME????
Eliphaz, Baldad and Sophar: Tee hee. Poke. Poke. Poke.
Job: I know God is powerful, I didn't do anything, and you guys are hypocrites. Bad stuff is gonna happen to you. I used to be rich and powerful and everybody loved me, and now I'm sitting on a dungheap covered in pus. You think the same thing can't happen to you? I'm a good guy, and you're not. Now shut up already, you overblown windbags.
Chapter Thirty-two Through Thirty-Seven
Okay, so Job is sitting on a dungheap in the ruins of his estate. His family's dead, except for his wife who thinks he's an idiot and has presumably left town (it doesn't say). His "friends" are accusing him of being a wicked person, and his body is one huge open sore. Can it get any worse? Hell yeah. Now he gets it from the peanut gallery. Eliu, a kid from the entourage of people Job's friends brought with them, pipes up.
Eliu: I've been quiet until now, but listening to you old farts has showed me that just because someone is old doesn't mean they're wise.***** You three are right, but you're not arguing your point the right way. Job, it's your own fault you're like this. You blasphemed, by putting words into God's mouth. That's not cool, dude. You can't possibly judge for God. God is all-powerful, God is amazing, God is-
Chapters Thirty-Eight Through Forty-One
God: Hey, kid. Shut up, and don't wet your pants.*****
Eliu: *shuts up*
God: Who do you mortals think you are, telling each other what I'm going to do to you? I'm God, you're not, deal with it. Jeez.
Chapter Forty-two
Job: Sorry, God! I suck! I'll make up for it!
God: Job just acknowledged that he's not fit to lick my shoes, and you guys didn't. Therefore, Job gets all his crap back, and you guys get to be Job's slaves.******* Here, Job, you get ten more kids and double your livestock.
Job: Yey!
And Job lived a really long, happy life, and his daughters inherited land as well as the sons (which was really unusual back then), and he died happy at age 140.
*At this point, Jesus hadn't done his thing yet, so it's okay to assume God was Jewish.
**Hey, maybe Job is the meaning of life. *ponders*
***In the book, this actually says "bless," not "blaspheme." This is because the original Hebrew word, when translated, was a swear word, and you can't have swear words in the Bible. That's what translating through three languages does to a book, I suppose.
****Job 13:5- And I wish that you would hold your peace, that you might be thought to be wise men.
*****Job 32: 9- They that are aged are not the wise men: neither do the ancients understand judgement.
******He really says that, I shit you not. Job 38:3- Gird up thy loins like a man.
*******It actually says "servant," but in the Bible that means slave. When they're talking about paid help, they say "hireling."
EDIT: ...if anyone can tell me why this entry appears to have no paragraphs, could they kindly share that information? *scratches head*
![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
no subject
Date: 2005-02-04 12:54 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2005-02-04 01:03 pm (UTC)Damn, why doesn't this entry have any paragraphs in it? *growls*
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Date: 2005-02-04 01:06 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2005-02-04 02:02 pm (UTC)