Meanwhile, in meatworld...

[jedusor]

Every few months, Pier 1 starts a new Event. The Events involve stressing certain products, and they coincide with clearance markdowns. There's been the Bedroom Event, the Dining Event, etc. Lately, the Events have been given really silly names- Very Merry, Spring-A-Ding-Ding... yeah, I know, but hold on. It gets better. The latest event, which began Monday, focuses on fragrances, flowers/decor, teapots, and rocking chairs. (I don't know why rocking chairs.) The name is--are you ready for this?

Aroma-Rama-Mama-Rama.

We're supposed to talk these things up to customers. Casual approach, how are you doing today, have you heard about our Aroma-Rama-Mama-Rama sale?

Aroma-Rama-Mama-Rama.

Aroma-Mama... shit.

Comments

[42itous.livejournal.com]

Ack! They make you actually say this stuff? That's so... cruel and unusual. Can't you, like, mispronounce it once in a while for your own sanity?

"Have you heard about our Aroma Soma Bonerama sale?"
"Pardon me, but do you know about the Aroma Manna Bowlarama sale we're having?"

[jedusor.livejournal.com]

I suspect I would get in trouble for asking customers if they'd heard about our Bonerama sale.

[zephyrofgod.livejournal.com]

...it's giving me a headache just trying to say it.

And we were no strangers to weird things at Godiva, including a three foot tall green bunny. But shit. That's bad.

[jedusor.livejournal.com]

Was it a three-foot-tall green chocolate bunny?

[zephyrofgod.livejournal.com]

No, but I kept getting asked if it was made out of chocolate.

Nope, flocked styrofoam. In atomic lime green.

[androidlovesong.livejournal.com]

I am reminded of my favorite theater warm up tongue twister:
"I am a mother pheasant plucker. I pluck mother pheasants. I am the most pleasant mother pheasant plucker that ever plucked a mother pheasant!"

Also, I have my geek-calendar pictures. Do you want me to pick the best one/two, or send you a whole bunch?

[jedusor.livejournal.com]

Don't tell Pier 1's marketing department about that. I wouldn't put anything past them at this point.

Send me the bunch, but let me know which you like best. :)

[ertchin.livejournal.com]

This sounds like some sort of sick experiment. You'll see a paper published in a few years about stealth tongue twisters or something.

[jedusor.livejournal.com]

In fifth grade, before I was expelled, I spent about eight months saying every morning, "Betty Botter bought some butter. "But," she said, "this butter's bitter. If I put it in my batter, it will make my batter bitter." So she bought a bit of butter, better than the bitter butter, and it made her bitter batter better. So 'twas better Betty Botter bought a bit of better butter."

Every. Fucking. Morning. For eight months. Can you blame me for getting kicked out?

[ertchin.livejournal.com]

I may be missing some context: were you told to say that every morning, or just took it upon yourself to say it?

Either way, though, my answer to your last question would be "no".

[jedusor.livejournal.com]

The whole class had to do it. Something about learning to enunciate better, I think. It was a earthy-crunchy Montessori-type school (Waldorf, actually, but they're basically the same).

[ertchin.livejournal.com]

Okay, I thought it was that. Eight months ... I'd be sneaking coded obscenities into the thing after about two weeks.

[gerald_duck]

"Hi. We've got some marked-down items over there. Head office has given the 'event' a name I can't remember or say that wouldn't impress you anyway. They're hoping you'll take a look at the other stuff in the area while trying to find the discounted products; if you at least gave it a glance that would make my job easier. Thanks."

Or is that Not Allowed?

[jedusor.livejournal.com]

Not happening.

I almost wish anyone I knew were the sort of person who shops at Pier 1, so I could show off my spiel.

Actually, no. I'm glad no one I know is the sort of person who shops at Pier 1. :P

[rikchik.livejournal.com]

Maybe they could tie it in with the Tibet protests and make it a Dalai Lama Aroma-Rama-Mama-Rama sale. And if you worked in their Huntsville store it could be an Alabama Dalai Lama Aroma-Rama-Mama-Rama sale. And then if you put the displayed items on a Peruvian pack animal it would be an Alabama Dalai Lama Aroma-Rama-Mama-Rama Llama.

[jedusor.livejournal.com]

if you put the displayed items on a Peruvian pack animal

You'd be surprised. There was an actual monkey modelling some stuff in our Christmas catalog. With the text "Does Not Include Monkey."

[rikchik.livejournal.com]

I guess I'll have to go elsewhere for my Christmas Monkey. (Neiman Marcus probably has one available.)

[jedusor.livejournal.com]

...and if you expanded the scope to include political statements on 9/11 and the upcoming presidential election, and someone got mad about the partisanship, they would be an Alabama Osama Obama Dalai Lama Aroma-Rama-Mama-Rama Drama Llama!

(I drove my store manager up the wall doing this all afternoon.)