jedusor: (hips)
[personal profile] jedusor
Man, you know what just doesn't make any damn sense at all? Worrying about weight. We're all just organisms, right, and we're all made of cells, and for some weird reason a whole bunch of people have decided that they have too many of this one kind of energy-storing cell and they need to make it go away or they're somehow not good enough. And okay, yeah, there's a weight range that is healthy and going too far above or below it can cause problems, but that range is a lot wider than people seem to think. And you know what actually is shown to have deleterious effects on your health? All that fucking worrying.

And I get that everyone wants to be attractive, and life is in great part about getting laid, but here's the thing: fat people get laid too. I know plenty of fat people who have happy, healthy sex lives, and I know plenty of skinny people who don't. You know whose sex lives suck? People who worry about their damn weight.

(And don't tell me fat people worry about their weight more. I have known way too many skinny people to fall for that shit.)

Date: 2011-08-06 11:16 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] zarathuse.livejournal.com
i agree completely! but! you know what's not really helpful for people who worry a lot about their weight? telling them they shouldn't worry so much about their damn weight.

sorry if that sounds harsh, bb, but this post comes off a bit "get over it already, your body issues are stupid." as a recovered anorexic (who spent two years listening to people dismiss my issues as not making "any damn sense at all"), i am more sensitive about this kind of thing than most, but just fyi. eating disorders (and other severe self-image issues) often don't make logical sense, but pointing that out? isn't really helpful to those suffering from them.

Date: 2011-08-06 11:26 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] jedusor.livejournal.com
Yeah, this is more me saying "I don't get this psychological phenomenon" than trying to be helpful. Obviously if it were easy to fix, someone would already have fixed it. There's a reason I'm a scientist, not a counselor.

I do apologize if expressing my frustration like this is actively counterproductive for you or anyone else. I forget sometimes that not everyone thinks in terms of phenomena.

Date: 2011-08-06 11:36 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] zarathuse.livejournal.com
no harm done. your attitude just reminds me of a lot of well-intentioned but ultimately hurtful "help" i encountered before i got myself legitimate professional help. like you said, though, you're trying to look at this logically, not constructively.

Date: 2011-08-06 11:44 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] jedusor.livejournal.com
Well, not constructively in terms of communicating to people experiencing the phenomenon. Possibly constructively in terms of developing my own perspective on evolutionary psychology and identity. I can be astonishingly selfish when it comes to understanding the world. :/

Date: 2011-08-07 01:52 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] rpipuzzleguy.livejournal.com
I feel better when I work out and eat better. You can delve into the psychology of that and why I "shouldn't" feel that way all you like, but that's the way it is.

Doesn't stop me from taking down a bacon cheeseburger now and then, of course.

Date: 2011-08-07 02:38 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] elainetyger.livejournal.com
Tyler, I also feel better physically the less I weigh. However, a big part of my previous therapy was letting go of the moral obligation to eat right, to be healthy, to weigh less. It's easier to let go of all the worrying about weight when I don't worry about being a burden on society if I should get diabetes and need medical care, and to have that worry every time I think about eating a friggin pancake. No I am not exaggerating.

Life is so much more pleasant -- no matter what weight I am -- when I don't attach a "you should" or "you shouldn't" to every activity associated with eating. If I eat healthy foods and feel good, it's ok. If I don't, it's ok, too. I don't have to send myself to hell.

Not a real scientific sample, but my personal experience supports Julia's assertion about the getting laid bit. I've had attention from *different* people but no change in numbers depending on my weight, and as an adult I've been as much as 25 pounds lighter and 47 pounds heavier than I am now. At my fattest, though, I had joint pain which made some activity not as enjoyable or not as possible. The thing is, though, dealing with it on the practical level without ascribing a moral imperative to food & health & weight.

Date: 2011-08-07 03:36 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] mh75.livejournal.com
I think there is a big difference between taking care of yourself and obsessing about weight. I feel better when i work out, eat better, and weigh towards the bottom of my normal range. I think i SHOULD feel that way.

I feel worse when i worry about each pound, each calorie, each little bulge. And while i can't just stop worrying as easily as all that, i see why it is counter-productive and a waste of my time and energy.

Date: 2011-08-07 04:42 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] rubrick.livejournal.com
but here's the thing: fat people get laid too. I know plenty of fat people who have happy, healthy sex lives, and I know plenty of skinny people who don't.

Science police! As you well know, without numbers this is as fatuous as "Smoking isn't unhealthy — I know a guy who smoked three packs a day and lived to 98!" The question (or rather, one of many questions) is, do skinny people get laid more on average than fat people? I don't know the answer — which is the point. The research is certainly out there.

Date: 2011-08-07 07:36 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] magickal-tara.livejournal.com
I try not to obsess about my weight, but as a type 1 diabetic, I know that I'm healthier, use less insulin, and have to worry less about complications if I'm at a lower weight.

However, I completly get the whole people obsessed with looking like super skinny models on magazine covers. Especially since, you know, the models don't even look like they do on these photoshoots. Gotta love airbrushing.

So, I guess I'm saying there are good reasons to worry about weight (like for health), and then the societal programming which drives people who are already happy and healthy completly insane for no real reason.

Date: 2011-08-07 01:11 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] devjoe.livejournal.com
Agreed. If the weight is affecting your health in a definite way, then you should control it. But control is one thing and looking like a super-skinny model is another.

Years ago, back before I met jedusor, I used to weigh 250 pounds. I injured myself one day, hurt a muscle in my leg just walking down the steps of the green line train. And it was due to no particular cause except my weight, and that was when I realized I needed to do something about it.

I weigh 175 pounds these days, which is still overweight for my height on some absurd doctor's chart, but I am happy with it. It's my stable weight for what I eat now. I don't obsess over my weight. I still eat according to my diet when I am home, because I know eating anything I want will get me back up to my unhealthy weight. When I am out doing stuff, and it is not convenient to stick to my diet, I don't worry about it, and eat what I want. Several days of doing this at con adds a few pounds, but only a few, and when I go back home to my usual diet those pounds will come off, gradually.

Date: 2011-08-08 05:02 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] justme8800.livejournal.com
So... you're worrying about people worrying about weight.

Ever considered going on a meta-diet? You know, keep an eye on your food for thought. Try doing some mental exercises, like kakurobics or nurikalisthenics. Also try this radio show on ignoring folks who obsess about pounds, it's called "Weight Weight Don't Tell Me."

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