fat 'n' happy
Aug. 6th, 2011 03:48 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
Man, you know what just doesn't make any damn sense at all? Worrying about weight. We're all just organisms, right, and we're all made of cells, and for some weird reason a whole bunch of people have decided that they have too many of this one kind of energy-storing cell and they need to make it go away or they're somehow not good enough. And okay, yeah, there's a weight range that is healthy and going too far above or below it can cause problems, but that range is a lot wider than people seem to think. And you know what actually is shown to have deleterious effects on your health? All that fucking worrying.
And I get that everyone wants to be attractive, and life is in great part about getting laid, but here's the thing: fat people get laid too. I know plenty of fat people who have happy, healthy sex lives, and I know plenty of skinny people who don't. You know whose sex lives suck? People who worry about their damn weight.
(And don't tell me fat people worry about their weight more. I have known way too many skinny people to fall for that shit.)
And I get that everyone wants to be attractive, and life is in great part about getting laid, but here's the thing: fat people get laid too. I know plenty of fat people who have happy, healthy sex lives, and I know plenty of skinny people who don't. You know whose sex lives suck? People who worry about their damn weight.
(And don't tell me fat people worry about their weight more. I have known way too many skinny people to fall for that shit.)
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Date: 2011-08-06 11:16 pm (UTC)sorry if that sounds harsh, bb, but this post comes off a bit "get over it already, your body issues are stupid." as a recovered anorexic (who spent two years listening to people dismiss my issues as not making "any damn sense at all"), i am more sensitive about this kind of thing than most, but just fyi. eating disorders (and other severe self-image issues) often don't make logical sense, but pointing that out? isn't really helpful to those suffering from them.
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Date: 2011-08-06 11:26 pm (UTC)I do apologize if expressing my frustration like this is actively counterproductive for you or anyone else. I forget sometimes that not everyone thinks in terms of phenomena.
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Date: 2011-08-06 11:36 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2011-08-06 11:44 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2011-08-07 01:52 am (UTC)Doesn't stop me from taking down a bacon cheeseburger now and then, of course.
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Date: 2011-08-07 02:38 am (UTC)Life is so much more pleasant -- no matter what weight I am -- when I don't attach a "you should" or "you shouldn't" to every activity associated with eating. If I eat healthy foods and feel good, it's ok. If I don't, it's ok, too. I don't have to send myself to hell.
Not a real scientific sample, but my personal experience supports Julia's assertion about the getting laid bit. I've had attention from *different* people but no change in numbers depending on my weight, and as an adult I've been as much as 25 pounds lighter and 47 pounds heavier than I am now. At my fattest, though, I had joint pain which made some activity not as enjoyable or not as possible. The thing is, though, dealing with it on the practical level without ascribing a moral imperative to food & health & weight.
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Date: 2011-08-07 03:36 am (UTC)I feel worse when i worry about each pound, each calorie, each little bulge. And while i can't just stop worrying as easily as all that, i see why it is counter-productive and a waste of my time and energy.
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Date: 2011-08-07 04:42 am (UTC)Science police! As you well know, without numbers this is as fatuous as "Smoking isn't unhealthy — I know a guy who smoked three packs a day and lived to 98!" The question (or rather, one of many questions) is, do skinny people get laid more on average than fat people? I don't know the answer — which is the point. The research is certainly out there.
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Date: 2011-08-07 07:36 am (UTC)However, I completly get the whole people obsessed with looking like super skinny models on magazine covers. Especially since, you know, the models don't even look like they do on these photoshoots. Gotta love airbrushing.
So, I guess I'm saying there are good reasons to worry about weight (like for health), and then the societal programming which drives people who are already happy and healthy completly insane for no real reason.
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Date: 2011-08-07 01:11 pm (UTC)Years ago, back before I met jedusor, I used to weigh 250 pounds. I injured myself one day, hurt a muscle in my leg just walking down the steps of the green line train. And it was due to no particular cause except my weight, and that was when I realized I needed to do something about it.
I weigh 175 pounds these days, which is still overweight for my height on some absurd doctor's chart, but I am happy with it. It's my stable weight for what I eat now. I don't obsess over my weight. I still eat according to my diet when I am home, because I know eating anything I want will get me back up to my unhealthy weight. When I am out doing stuff, and it is not convenient to stick to my diet, I don't worry about it, and eat what I want. Several days of doing this at con adds a few pounds, but only a few, and when I go back home to my usual diet those pounds will come off, gradually.
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Date: 2011-08-08 05:02 am (UTC)Ever considered going on a meta-diet? You know, keep an eye on your food for thought. Try doing some mental exercises, like kakurobics or nurikalisthenics. Also try this radio show on ignoring folks who obsess about pounds, it's called "Weight Weight Don't Tell Me."