let's stumble towards success and pack some snacks for little breaks

Hulu commercial: If you're happy and you know it, clap your hands!
Mike: *cheerfully begins to clap*
Hulu commercial: *thunderclap, ominous music*
Mike (sadly): Oh.

I gather this is something of a classic, but I hadn't heard it when Mike told it to me just now, and it cracked me up:

René Descartes walks into a bar. The bartender asks if he would like a drink. Descartes says, "I think not," and vanishes.

The entry Mike just posted, c&p'd in the hopes that someone on my flist might be able to help out:


Posting this from Julia's computer.

So yesterday afternoon the screen of my laptop (Inspiron 1721) suddenly went black. No odd noises, no minor glitches leading up to it. It just suddenly blinked out. I powered off and back on, and it won't start. I've turned it on and off several times, waiting for various intervals in between. The power light's on, and there's... the usual sounds it makes when it starts, for the most part, but the hard drive light stays off and the screen stays black - except for one random time when the Dell startup screen came and went as usual before the screen went back to black.

It's been randomly BSoDing maybe once or twice a week for as long as I can remember (at least as far back as January), but I'd been writing that off as just a thing PCs did.

Things Google has led me to believe I should try: Battery's relatively healthy and fully charged, if the gauge lights are any indication. AC adapter looks good. Reseating the memory hasn't had an effect. Pressing Fn as I turn it on is supposed to launch diagnostics - it causes Caps and Num Lock lights to blink and Scroll Lock to shine steadily, but I can't find anywhere that lists what, if anything, that might mean.

Does anyone have any advice?

"Okay! Once upon a time, there was a fairy princess named Roy. She had a magic wand, and whenever it touched something, it turned it into the same thing, but .01 times bigger.

This flagrant disregard for the law of conservation of matter got Roy kicked out of fairy princess school. But she went off somewhere else and became a chef. The wand landed a deal doing shows in Vegas. But more people went to see the chef. So that was all good.

Meanwhile, there was a dragon. It liked gold. Because, you know, it was a dragon, and it had needs. It needed a pile of gold to sit on, or lay in.

One day the dragon was flying around. 'Boy,' it said, 'I sure am flying around!' It liked to narrate itself. It was kind of a weird dragon. Then it landed on a rock. 'Boy,' it said, 'this sure is a rock!'

'You didn't really need to announce that,' said the rock, because this is a story about fairy princesses and dragons, and so of course rocks can talk.

'Wait,' said the sky. 'Why can't I talk? ...oh. Never mind.' And the sky was not heard from again in this story.

The dragon and the rock started walking down the path, except for the rock, which couldn't walk because it was a rock. It just sat there. Further along the path was a knight with a sword. 'I am a knight that slays dragons!' he said. 'Wooooo!'

'Wooooo!' said the sword.

'Oh no!' said the dragon, 'I am going to be slain! Wait, I'm a dragon. Why am I walking on a path?' And he flew away.

The knight looked up at the dragon flying away and said, 'Wooooo! Wooooo... woo." Then he tripped and fell over. He was okay, though, because he was wearing armor. It was padded armor, for in case of tripping.

The sword got a little bit chipped, though.

The end."

Mike and I were cuddling before going to sleep, and I asked him to sing me a lullaby. This is what he came up with on the spot:

Hush, little Julia, don't say a word
Mike is gonna buy you a mockingbird
And if that mockingbird don't sing
Mike is gonna buy you some other thing
And if that other thing falls down
Mike is gonna buy you the color brown
And if the color brown turns black
Mike is prob'ly gonna have to take it back
And if they don't accept exchanges
Mike is gonna go to the mountain ranges
And if he has a skiing accident and breaks his arm
Mike is gonna buy you a walnut farm
And if the walnut farm grows pecans
Mike is gonna buy you the Tour de France
And if the Tour de France has charges of doping
Mike is just gonna sit around moping
And if he happens to cheer back up
Mike is gonna... something something... Debra Rupp.

Things projectyl Has Never Ingested

1. Sushi
2. Macaroni and cheese
3. Mustard
4. Lasagna
5. Potato salad
6. Avocados
7. Mushrooms
8. Alcohol
9. Coleslaw

This summer, there will be an Intervention.